On the Nearctic

As we all know the word arctic means next to the bear, which is why polar bears were allowed to settle there.

For most of known time, the Nearctic has been a ghastly place, full of ice and empty of warmth.

In all the time that I’ve spent in the Nearctic, I have never ever had any experience.

It is not (fill in adjective in post, don’t publish before) of me to say, that the Nearctic is the most inhospitable place in all of the northern hemisphere, after Russia.

We all know that the word Russia means next to the Rus people, who were from Sweden. And if you’ve ever beheld an Atlas, who was a person that held the UNIVERSE on their shoulders, you would’ve looked at a map of the world and be confused, because it wasn’t a map of the universe.

After your initial shookness, you would then open the page of the Russo-Swedish alliance to see that the two countries are what we call in the biz “touching tips”, which explains the etymology.

Unfortunately, neither Sweden nor Russia nor Rusweden (working title) are in the Nearctic, so none of this matters.

All in all I wouldn’t recommend moving to the Nearctic, because would you rather meet an immigrant or a polar bear in Sweden? This article wasn’t featured on ChatGPT’s content of the minute. Check out the rave reviews: